the Lord is Almighty to save

tuesday 22 may 2012




the Lord is Awesome.  i don't even know where to begin.  


i have known in my heart that the circumstances i have been in for the past year are and have been circumstances orchestrated by the Lord.


the Lord has had me fenced in.  he has had me shut down, blocked off and set apart.  totally alone.  
                                                  


if i went out to find comfort.  he shut me off.  if i sat home to find comfort.  he shut me in.  if i was given good well meaning advice.  he shut it down.  if i turned to the left.  he cut the left off.  if i turned to the right.  he cut the right off.  if i picked up comfort in myself.  he made it fall.  if i prayed.  he kept silent.  if i cried.  he kept silent.  





i begged for His comfort.  i found it for a moment.  and then it was gone.  to be replaced by tears, longing, sorrow, aloneness, unworthiness, overwhelming aching from within.  not poetic.  


i don't know what to say.  except the Lord is awesome and He is mighty to save.


if you have been called.  if you have had an encounter at any time, ever in your life, with the Lord Jesus - and you are experiencing doubt through His silence and the circumstances in your life are going from bad to worse - and He is silent - day after day - and the doubt you have isn't about whether He is Lord - but about you being the one person He didn't die for - then you have spent the day with me.
                                                                                    
                                                                                                       
and all i can say is this.  He has it.  He has you and He has your life, your circumstances, your troubles, your unworthiness, your sorrow, your longing, your tears, your aching - your breath, He has it - 
                                      
for me - my Lord had to bring His discipline into my life - there is no other way - if He is to be Lord of my life, then it has to be His way or nothing.  no other way.  He is the Way.  His way - is the Way.  no other way.  no others way.  no way but His.  in everything.  in my life.
and His punishment for my wayward ways was His discipline.


He didn't have to do.  He is Sovereign.  He is The Almighty.  who am i that He should care to punish me.  to discipline me.  and i have come to know this Lord deeper.  He wants me to hear His voice - hear Him clearly - see where He is clearly - see where He is going clearly - see what He is doing clearly - see His anger clearly - see His Love, Grace and Mercy so very clearly - that i can distinguish between the Lord Himself and the eternally fatal imitations.  i must see Him clearly - to follow.