monday

if you ever the desire to read the complete works of c.s.lewis - disregard it as you would the desire for a swim in the ocean on a beautiful winter day.  


i have spent quite a bit of time to-ing and fro-ing to and from my computer to find the definitions of so many words so that i am able to keep up with mr lewis and his command of not only english, but latin, greek, and so on, and his amazingly well read mind, that i am dithering.  he is not being a clever dick.  he is so likable, so human and honest.  he needs the words and uses so many to allow us to read what he has to say without actually saying it,  so that, i fear, only the most dedicated of readers would persevere.  and, he does change how i write, or how i think about what i'm going to write anyway.  he says much.  and it is worth pondering.  as writers of old are. 


if there is something i know about me, it is this.  i did not learn to do what i do.  i just do it.  the only instruction i had was learning to put the 26 letters of the alphabet into the appropriate order in which i could then put down on paper anything i wanted to say.  i don't know if it's writing as such as i would say i am a writer.  i write.  


so monday is this.  i discover that nowadays i am flummoxed with too many words.  i am impatient with myself and most patient with mr lewis.  i see how he says things.  and i am delighted to know i say things differently.  in the past, i have been scared off by writers such as mr lewis.  they are masters.  so this is it.  i accept it.  but as mr lewis so generously points out - to have the high, one must have the low, for the low is as important as the high, for without one there would be not the other.